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In Praise of Scotch Eggs
SAS - SCOTCH EGG APPRECIATION SOCIETY - SIGNATURE POEM (I'm not sure how universal Scotch Eggs are outside the UK but hey... enjoy anyway.) I'm not averse to chicken legs But find I still prefer scotch eggs Although the bread crumbs are all dyed And all the meat is grey, inside. The egg is bouncy like a ball And yet I do not mind at all. In fact, at lunch I often dream Of them, awash with salad cream. Scotch eggs, I think I should confide, Have, also, a mysterious side: The average Scotch Egg's been designed With curious properties. You'll find No matter where you sink your teeth To bite into the egg beneath, Wherever you may think you bit You'll always bite the end of it. Held any way within your hand Once bitten, there will be the band Of yellow yolk, rubbery white, A gap, the meat, then bread crumbs bright. The gap, I think, is surely planned For those with salad cream to hand. Uncannily it's always right In width and breadth and perfect height In order to maintain with ease - Between the egg and meaty case - The squeezing in there of a moat Of salad cream (on which to float The egg inside its shell of meat) With this the taste is made complete. I care not for the burger bar Scotch eggs are lovelier by far.
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Contributor's Note
I wrote this back in the 1990s for a stand up set. It was never used. These days I've sat down and become an artist you can view my work at http://www.drawnbyhand.com or buy it from http://www.zazzle.com/drawnbyhand* Thanks for reading.
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May, 2012
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